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He taught me how to fight and always hit me out of anger and rage. Even though I sometimes would provoke the anger secretly enjoying the pain he would inflict upon me, I couldn’t subject the c***dren that we had to his abuse. I broke free of him.During the first year of my freedom from him I went totally wild. It shames me sometimes to think about how wanton a slut I was back then. Marrying at such a young age and staying married for eight years had bottled up a lot of frustration. It was the only time other than opening up with You that I let myself peek into my dark side. I met a man who was 20 years my senior. He took me in one summer while my c***dren were visiting their dad. I was essentially his servant and sexual plaything.He and his friends used me as their whore. If I disappointed him or any of his buddies I would be whipped soundly. If he felt like marking my body I would be whipped. It is during that time I discovered how much I liked sucking a nice hard cock. It is. After wefinally finished cumming you gently straightened me up, pulled down myslip and dress and then wrapped your arms around me holding me tightly toyou. Then kissing me lightly on the back of the neck you turned and wentback into the living room. The dishwater was cold and not a word had beenuttered the entire time. But then there was no need for words.That's what sex is for me now. I can remember it being the other way,being the one who penetrated, who possessed, but now that just doesn'tseem real. It's like I'm remembering something I read or something Iheard about that somebody I used to know did... but not something I wouldever have done or ever do. Sex for me is being penetrated by you, beingtaken by you. If I start getting turned on, or something makes me thinkof sex, then that's what I imagine. And if something makes me imagine youdoing that then I get turned on. We've done it that way so long and sooften, and no other way, that even trying to imagine myself in adifferent.
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